When Plans Fail - Get a New Plan

Things are not turning out as planned. In fact, plans are not turning out as planned. The former plan was that we would leave corporate jobs for the Great Unknown and that somehow, Oprah-like, a new life would fall into place. Well, a new life has tumbled into place, somewhat like an avalanche of scree, but it hasn't been Oprah-like. You know, follow your heart and all the doors will open.

Here was (is) my agenda: I wanted a stress free job in a small community. I wanted no commute, so I could make dinner before 7 p.m. I wanted to know my neighbors and have a group of friends to have over for dinner or to go camping with. I wanted some meaningful involvement in the community in which I lived, which would be small enough that my involvement would actually blip the radar. I wanted enough money to pay the bills. I wanted to live close to my daughter and be part of her everyday life.

Here is what I got: I got a series of employment efforts (non-profit manager, free lance writer, real estate agent, professional organizer, estate administrator, personal assistant) that paid little or nothing and into which I put a tremendous amount of effort (and stressed myself out, each and every time, trying to translate effort into money). I got no commute, but I ended up travelling about 28,000 miles in trailers and on this boat and made a series of acquaintences but only one long term friendships. I have blipped no radars on any subject. I continue to watch a financial hemorrhage that has slowed but never stopped since I walked away from my 18 year job. My daughter lives in NY and I'm in Houston (after travelling over the years from Dallas to Brenham to Galveston to this boat, and on the boat from Galveston to Maine to the Bahamas to Corpus Christi, and somehow, unbelievably, to Houston).

I also got nights on an empty sea lit by a hundred million stars. I got brilliant sunrises, marshy coasts, ports of all descriptions, and the ability to set an anchor. I got an intimate knowledge of small spaces and came face to face with my material lust. I learned what I could do without and I learned what I have to have.

Now I am sitting at the dock in my magic boat with my husband, my almost 14 year old dog and my almost 16 year old cat. My husband is working marine retail and I have worked at Wal Mart and been fired for the first time in my life after trying to re-enter my past profession. I have no idea what I am doing. I am in the middle of reinventing myself 3 years shy of my 60th birthday.

Stay tuned.